The Pokemon Rant
by Persona
Summary: Wackiness continues at the 4th Wall bar and grill when Satoshi does his take on the "I Am Canadian" rant!


Persona: Hello everyone! I'm back at it again!  
  
Mimi: And this time, we're not the targets!  
  
Persona: Nope. This is being posted due to a review left by Star Otaku. You asked for it Star, and here it is! One Pokemon rant served piping hot! Though I doubt I'll do a Monster Rancher one.  
  
Jyou: You see, he has a case of terminal laziness.  
  
Persona: It is unwise to insult the holder of the keyboard.  
  
Jyou sweatdrops.  
  
Persona: Anyway, to stave off demonic hellspawn (A.K.A. angry lawyers), here are the disclamers. I do not, in any way, shape, or form own Pokemon. Though I wish I did. The Canadian Rant is owned by Molson, who I would like to thank for giving us our new national battle cry. I do however own The 4th Wall bar and grill, an idea I plan to use in future fics. If anyone wants to use The 4th Wall in any of their stories I have nothing against it, just let me know you're using it okay?  
  
Kasumi: You done yet?  
  
Persona: Oh, you may notice double characters in this fic (Ex. Satoshi/Ash). The way I see it, once a dubbed character is given a new name by the dubbers, he/she becomes the North American counterpart to the original Japaneese character. In other words, two versions of the same character won't be all that uncommon while in the 4th Wall.  
  
Also, I tried to get all the Japaneese names of the characters right, but please forgive me if I went wrong somewhere. I think I'll be sticking to the American names from now on, just to save on the confusion/headache brought on by trying to find so and so's original Japaneese name.  
  
Satoshi: Can we get on with this please?  
  
Persona: Sure thing. By the way, please stay tuned at the end of the fic for a special announcement. Now, on to the rant!  
  
  
The Pokemon Rant  
  
By Persona  
  
(NOTE: This takes plase directly after my other fic, "The Digimon Rant".)  
  
*****  
  
Taichi had just stepped off the karaoke stage after speaking his piece, and the room had just started to quiet down somewhat.  
  
Off in another corner of the karaoke bar/restaurant, Satoshi, Kasumi, and Takeshi were enjoying a nice quiet lunch up until the minor disturbance earlier.  
  
"Well, that was something new." Kasumi said.  
  
Satoshi just shruged. "Eh, I bet I could do better."  
  
Kasumi raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Yeah right Satoshi! I'd like to see you try it."  
  
Satoshi smiled back at her. "Okay Kasumi, just you watch me!" And with that, he left his table and started towards the karaoke stage.  
  
Kasumi could only look on mildly surprised. "I didn't think he'd take me seriously."  
  
Takeshi nodded. "He's going to make a fool of himself isn't he?"  
  
"More than likely."  
  
Satoshi quickly made it to the stage and took up the microphone.  
  
"Hello? Is this thing on? Excuse me everyone, but I have something I'd like to say too!"  
  
The room quieted down and all eyes were on him.  
  
*Heh, I'll show her.* Satoshi thought to himself before starting.  
  
  
"I am not a Monster Rancher or a Digidestined.  
  
I live on the road, eat my friend Takeshi's cooking, and own a Pokedex.  
  
I know Mushashi, Kojiro, and Nyasu from Rocket Gundan, and I'm sure they're very nice when they're not trying to steal Pikachu.  
  
I have a Pokeball, not an oversized fishing floater.  
  
I speak Japaneese, not American. (Ash: Hey, I speak american. Misty: That's because you're the dubbed version. Now keep quiet!)  
  
I call it evolving, not transforming.  
  
I can proudly wear my Pokemon Leauge hat on my head.  
  
I believe in quality, not quantity; friendship, not ownership, and that the Psyduck is a proud and noble animal. (Psyduck: Psy?)  
  
Stones are a catalyst for evolution.  
  
Kasumi is a tomboy, albeit a cute one. (Kasumi is seen unable to decide if she should strangle Satoshi for that last remark. Kasumi: He's lucky he added that last part in there!)  
  
And they're called Pokemon battles, OK, not cock fights for children, Pokemon battles. (Persona: Sorry, but after a conversation I had today I had to get that off my chest.)  
  
Indigo Platau is the home of the Pokemon League, hosts the greatest battles of all time for trainers both placed and author created, and is the final stop on a trainers journey to mastery.  
  
My name is Satoshi, and I am a Pokemon trainer.  
  
Thank you.  
  
  
Satoshi puts the microphone down expecting applause, only to be greeted by a silent room. A small gust of wind accompanied by a rolling tumbleweed cross the stage.  
  
"Where the hell did that come from?" Asked Persona, scratching his head in wonder.  
  
Satoshi quietly walked back to his seat. "You knew that was going to happen, didn't you Kasumi?"  
  
The water Pokemon mearly shruged. "Eh, I had a feeling."  
  
Their conversation though was rudely inturupted by a orange-brown blur jumping over their table.  
  
"WAAAAA! What was that!?"  
  
The three Pokemon trainers followed the blur to the karaoke stage where it solidified into Monster Rancher's Genki.  
  
"ALL RIGHT! It's my turn! Let's RIP IT UP!  
  
I am not a Digidestined or a AHHH!"   
  
*THUNK!*  
  
Genki's words were promtly cut off as Vegeta's beer bottle collided with his skull.  
  
"SHUT UP! Twice in a row is enough!"  
  
Persona sighed and pulled out his cell phone.  
  
"Maintenance? Yeah it's me. Could you send a clean up crew to the karaoke area please? We got a GKU*. Yeah it happened again. Bring a trolly. Persona out."  
  
Persona went over to Vegeta's table and shook his head sadly.  
  
"You know Vegeta, you've got to stop doing that." He then smiled and added in a quieter voice.   
  
"At least let me get a couple of shots in."  
  
*****  
  
Well, that ends this one. Minor points of intrest:  
  
GKU- Genki Knocked Unconscious.  
  
Now for the special announcement. Do you want to visit the 4th Wall? Well you can! The 4th Wall is a place for characters AND authors to meet during off hours and talk, have something to drink, grab a bite to eat, or to have authors discuss hiring characters to star in their stories.  
  
But I will not start mentioning authors in the 4th Wall without their permission. So if you want to make a camio, or have a full blown scene, simply e-mail me and let me know. Writing your own scenes is welcome and encouraged. Simple camios require little more than "This is who I am, this is what I'm doing."   
  
Those who write in will get their scenes shown in my upcoming series: "Tales from the 4th Wall". The only rule is to keep it tasteful, anything like "This is who I am, and I score with so and so..." will be promptly tossed in the trash. That and I reserve the right of editing for content.  
  
Sorry for such a long end piece, but I had to get that out of the way. I hope to hear from a few of you sometime in the furure. Until then, ja ne!  
  
E-mail Persona: neo_persona@hotmail.com 


End file.
